Kindfulness: An Inside-Out Approach to Cultivating Kindness

Has anyone ever said to you, "Oh, you're such a kind person"? If that has been said to you, you probably felt a blanket of warmth fill you up, as you received one of the nicest compliments a person might ever hear. That is the power of kindness given and received in a single moment.

Kindfulness is a strength-based method of cultivating kindness and then manifesting it into the people around us — family, friends, strangers, and coworkers. Through recalling acts of kindness we have done, individuals move toward improved emotional wellness and mental health outcomes. Kindfulness nudges individuals to summon the kindness within and consciously choose to act with kindness. Through the practice of Kindfulness, we develop neuronal energy for kindness as we create stronger neural connections for kinder behavior choices. It develops the internal self to be a source of automated kindness as you grow in this practice.

As we approach Bell Let's Talk Day, a time dedicated to raising awareness about mental health, it is crucial to explore ways to foster a more compassionate and empathetic society. This practical and agency-based method not only enhances our personal well-being but also has the potential to create a ripple effect of positivity in our communities.

Step 1 — Identifying a Moment of Kindness: Reflect on a recent moment when you either gave or received kindness. This could be as simple as a smile exchanged with a stranger, a thoughtful message from a friend, or an act of generosity towards a family member. By acknowledging these moments, we become more aware of the kindness that exists in our lives. These instances, though seemingly small, remind our brains of the process of kindness and recruit neural energy for another act of kindness.

Step 2 — Identifying a Missed Opportunity for Kindness: Reflect on a moment when you could have been kind but did not choose to be. This step requires honesty and self-awareness without self-judgment. By identifying these missed opportunities, we can learn from them and be better prepared to act with kindness in the future. We acknowledge this without sitting in regret, because it is a natural human behavior to put self over others at times.

Step 3 — The 3K: Plan your next act of kindness toward three people — a family member, a friend, and a stranger. For a family member, you might spend quality time with them or simply express your appreciation. For a friend, consider reaching out to let them know you've been thinking about them. For a stranger, you could hold the door open, offer a genuine compliment, or contribute to a charitable cause. By setting these intentions, we are more likely to follow through and create a positive impact on those around us.

Practicing Kindfulness has numerous benefits. On a personal level, it leads to greater emotional well-being, reduced stress, and increased feelings of connectedness. When we act with kindness, our brains release oxytocin — the "love hormone" — which promotes feelings of happiness and bonding. On a societal level, Kindfulness creates a ripple effect — a subtle emotional contagion in the most positive way — that can soften the abrasiveness in the social fabric of our communities. We all want kindness, and with our individual and collective agency, we can build a world where kindness is not just an ideal, but a lived reality.